That One Moment (Lost in London #2) Page 20

  I glance up to find Vi watching me. She smirks. I smirk back. She licks her lips. I lick mine. As if we are being drawn together by some outside force, our heads lean into each other and our mouths connect in a soft, sweet kiss. It’s the kind of kiss that leaves you wanting more, but also completely satisfies everything inside of you like you’ve never had better.

  Marisa’s sudden cry interrupts our tender moment. I pull back from Vi, laughing. “Don’t be jealous, Marisa. You’re still my number one girl.”

  “Number one is it?” Vi tsks in mock offense, her grin still permanently in place.

  “She’s my number one girl,” Theo objects from the front seat. Leslie’s hand reaches over and strokes his. “Tied for number one,” he adds curtly and cuts a heated squint at her that forces me to look away.

  We arrive at Frank’s and waltz through the large purple door framed in climbing ivy. I’ve never been to Frank’s, but it somehow suits him. It’s a large, imposing home, but when you walk in, there’s an energy unlike any other.

  Frank comes bounding out of the living room on our left. “The bloody Clarke’s are here…Hide the family jewels!”

  Leslie’s eyes turn into saucers. “I believe it was my jewels that you always stole, Frank and Beans…along with my bedazzler.”

  “Christ, Gingers sure can hold a grudge.” He glares meanly at her and then looks to my and Vi’s hands clasped together. He ropes his arm with Vi’s and pulls her away from me, leading her toward the dining room. His voice trails back into the foyer as he says, “Why, Vi. Hopped from Ethan to Hayden faster than you can say Frank’s your Uncle! I have to say, I’m impressed, dear girl.”

  My face falls and I move forward quickly, but Theo stops me in my tracks with a hard hand on my shoulder. “Don’t be a fool, Hayden. It was a joke.” He gives me an annoying matey pat on the shoulder. “You’re better than that.”

  Am I? I swallow hard, my clenched jaw rocking side to side in frustration. Just thinking about Ethan and Vi makes my blood boil. But fuck, Theo’s right. I know what Frank’s like, so why is it bothering me so much?

  Finley and her husband Brody join us in the living room, both kitted out in their own footie pajamas. They sit cosily next to each other on the couch as Brody holds Marisa somewhat awkwardly and Finley looks so happy she might burst into tears. They’ve been married for about a year now, and Leslie has mentioned to me that children won’t be a part of their future. But watching them right now…I’m not sure they know it.

  “I think we should do it now,” Finley says, looking up at Frank sneakily as he readies some snacks on the coffee table.

  Frank’s eyes alight knowingly. “All right. Everyone remain calm. This is not a drill. We have a bit of a surprise for Marisa, so if you’ll all follow me.”

  Finley passes Marisa back to Leslie, and I find myself so intrigued that I follow the group up the large staircase to the second floor. Frank stops in front of a closed bedroom door and turns back to us while dramatically coiffing his puffy red hair.

  “This was my idea,” Frank starts.

  “Bullshit! It was my idea!” Finley interjects, standing shoulder to shoulder with him. The two of them are wearing footie pajamas, looking like the biggest fools as they bicker over whose idea whatever it is we’re about to see was.

  “Oi, all right, Fin-Bin. It was your idea, but you need to thank fuck I was around for the design process or you would have had it decked out in K-State University drivel.”

  “Frank!” Finley cuts.

  “Why don’t you guys just open the door,” Brody asks calmly. Seriously, Brody is a big, brawny, man-type of bloke and seeing him in that onesie is just…disturbing. Finley must have some serious pull over him to get him to wear one of those.

  Finley smirks and opens the door. Following her lead, we all walk in to one of the most beautiful nurseries I’ve ever seen. Not that I’ve seen many. Honestly, I feel a bit poorly because I’m in the bedroom that would normally be Marisa’s perfect little nursery at Theo and Leslie’s flat if it wasn’t for me. But Leslie says she wants to keep Marisa close for a while anyway, so having her crib upstairs next to them works best for everyone.

  I take note of the expensive-looking crib covered in a funky, loud, floral print of fuchsias, pinks, reds, and oranges. Next to it is a safari baby bouncer, a fire-engine-red changing table, nappies, wipes, the works. The walls are a soft cyan colour with white crown moulding everywhere, allowing the decorations to make the statement. A modern, grey, upholstered rocker is nestled perfectly in the corner. It’s a trendy baby’s dream come true nursery. A day bed even rests along the window making it not just a nursery, but a place for mum and dad to stay when they visit as well.

  Leslie hands Marisa off to Theo and does a complete survey of the room, remaining completely silent. I think we’re all waiting to hear her reaction as she runs her hands along the crib. Finally, she covers her mouth as she turns to look at Theo. Her eyes are drenched with tears and, without pause, Theo rushes up to her and hugs her with his free arm—an unknowing Baby Marisa smashed happily between them.

  I look away and rub my face annoyingly as my own damn eyes start to prick. Vi catches sight of me and I frown, grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the room.

  “You okay?” she asks softly.

  I nod. “Yeah. That’s just…I know that means a lot to Leslie. Her family isn’t the best.” I don’t offer any more details on the matter because it’s not my story to tell.

  “You’re really close to her, aren’t you?” Vi’s eyes squint curiously as if she’s trying to piece together why I’m reacting so strongly.

  Feeling strangely, like I need to minimise what Leslie means to me, I huff, “It’s nothing. Let’s go downstairs.” I take Vi’s hand in mine and lead her toward the flight of stairs. I freeze in my tracks when I see Reyna standing below.

  “Hey,” she says, looking up at me in surprise and pausing her climb up the steps. “I didn’t expect you to be here.” Her eyes cut down to my hand in Vi’s and, for some reason, I quickly let her go.

  I swallow awkwardly. “Leslie invited me.”

  Reyna looks at Vi, her eyes narrowing. “Vilma, right?”

  “Yeah. It’s Vi, I told you before. Hi Reyna. Nice to see you again.” Vi tucks her long blonde strands behind her ears, her eyes squinting with speculation.

  Reyna’s grey eyes chill, which puzzles me, but we’re all suddenly distracted by a huge commotion behind us.

  “FUCKING CUNT-FACED SPUNK BUBBLE!” a woman’s voice screams from the bedroom down the hall from the new nursery.

  Frank, Leslie, Theo, Finley, and Brody come dashing out into the hallway just as a box of men’s clothing is launched out the open bedroom door. Next comes a cell phone. It strikes the hallway wall and crumbles to several pieces with a cringe-worthy crack.

  A besotted Julie comes storming out of the room dressed in a lime green onesie, her almond-shaped eyes wide, her black hair tangled, and her stance braced with a menacing gait that makes me fight the urge to cover my balls.

  “Men are fucking PIGS! The lot of them!” she screams.

  My eyes flash to Baby Marisa who begins fussing in Theo’s arms.

  “Fuck, I’m sorry…but they are. Men are fucking spunk bubble twats. I will tell all of you this right now. You’re all in love and you all think love can conquer the universe. It fucking doesn’t. The only men you can trust are the arseholes who have no feelings….they just have…ARSE HOLES!”

  She turns and storms into the bathroom at the end of the hall, slamming the door loudly in her wake.

  “Well, there goes our tender family moment,” Frank huffs as he sashays down the hall to console whatever is eating at Julie.

  Finely turns and sees Reyna and rushes to welcome her surprise visit. I overhear Rey tell Finley that Liam is running the pub tonight and that she needed a night of relaxation. Leslie joins in the greeting, but watches me nervously. I try to give her a look that tells her I’m okay
because I know she tries to hide her friendship with Rey from me. But I’m not an idiot. Theo and Liam are best mates. I know Leslie has naturally grown closer to Reyna as a result. It’s not just that, though. Having Rey around with Vi here makes me uneasy. Last time I properly spoke to Rey, I told her that lust and recovery don’t mix. Now I’m standing here feeling like a hypocritical prat. Although, a quiet, annoying voice in my head knows that this is more than just lust with Vi. But admitting that thought is more terrifying than tempting my recovery.

  We make our way to the living room and eventually begin watching a film. It’s charged and awkward and I feel horrid because I’m not touching Vi like I normally do. My body yearns to throw a claiming arm around her, but Rey’s presence and the thoughts rattling off in my head make me feel…disjointed.

  Eventually, I remove myself to pop out to the kitchen for a drink. Maybe if I can give myself a silent pep talk, I can stop acting like such a wanker. Just as I close the fridge door, Rey’s face appears from behind it.

  “So, you and Vi?” she asks, leaning her back on the fridge and crossing her inked arms over her chest.

  I crack the top on the can of soda in my hands. My jaw clenches in annoyance because this feels wrong on so many levels. I shrug my shoulders, dismissively opting to remain silent.

  She frowns. “What? You’re not going to tell me anything?” Her tone is defensive.

  “I don’t see how it’s any of your business.” I turn and lean back on the counter to face her, taking a cool drink.

  “I just think it’s odd that you told me only a couple of weeks ago that you’re putting yourself first and focusing all your efforts on you. Then I see you holding hands and cosying up to this blonde you barely know.” She gestures flippantly toward the living room where I left Vi with everyone else.

  My temper flares. “She’s not just a fucking blonde, Rey. She’s got a damn name and you bloody well know it. Stop acting as if she’s some random bird I picked up at a pub. And you’re one to talk!”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You were a fucking mess too and you got engaged!” I accuse, not because I’m jealous, but because I’m defensive. “What did your therapist say about that?”

  She recoils. “Liam and I had history.”

  “Don’t remind me.” I cringe thinking about the fact that Liam and my sister nearly got engaged when they were together at Oxford. It makes me ill to think of Rey with him, truthfully. I’m all for unconventional love stories, but fuck me…don’t come over here acting all self-righteous when you’re the pot calling the kettle black. “Regardless, none of this is your concern.”

  “Oh, excuse me for being a friend!” she snaps.

  “You and I aren’t friends anymore, Rey.” I set my can down and cross my arms, mirroring her subliminal shield of armour.

  “Not by my choice!” she shouts. “I miss you, Hayden!”

  “Oh please,” I laugh with shock. “You wouldn’t even be talking to me if Liam was here and you know it. If he were here, he’d be sulking in the corner watching us like a hawk.”

  “Knock it off. Liam isn’t like that. He understands what you and I are.”

  “You and I were a fucking mess, Rey. Were. Don’t build us up to be more than we were.”

  Her eyes narrow with barely contained fury. “We were best friends, Hayden,” she says in slow, warning tones.

  “You made me weak, Rey!” I roar, feeling like for the first time I’ve finally pegged exactly what Reyna Miracle was to me all those years. “You made me fragile. And you bring me right back to the sod all mess I was all those years ago and I don’t fucking want it.” Her jaw drops in shock, only infuriating me more. “We were never best friends. You said it yourself on that park bench. We know nothing about each other, so you can’t possibly throw that card at me now.”

  Her grey eyes well with tears. I flinch, “Fuck, Rey. I’m sorry. I’m not blaming you for everything, especially not for what I did to myself. It was my own fault. I just need you to understand that you cannot have a say in my life anymore. And you cannot use our past against me.”

  She swipes hastily at her eyes, and I have to fight every urge in my body that wants to go to her and comfort her…rub that spot on her neck that I know soothes her almost instantly. It’s a reflex with Rey. Comforting her. She craves my comfort like a crutch and I let her use me that way for so many years. Maybe we both have addictions to fight?

  She sets her jaw angrily and turns, storming out of the kitchen. When I watch her leave, I find Vi and Leslie standing in the entryway staring at the scene that just transpired. Both their jaws are dropped.

  Fuck.

  Anger pulses through me at the fact that Rey can go off on me like that and then act all wounded when I get real with her. I stride over and motion for Leslie to follow me. I can’t even bring myself to look at Vi right now.

  “Hayden, what the fuck?” Leslie says, following me out the front door and into the gated patio area on the face of the house. It’s completely shrouded in ivy, similar to how my heart is shrouded in shame.

  “Fuck, Leslie. I don’t know what to bloody do!” I exclaim with a forced whisper so no one can hear me. “My mind is spinning and I’m a fucking mess. A lot of what Rey said was true. I was going to focus on myself, yet here I am acting like a normal fucking bloke with a new girlfriend!”

  “You are a normal bloke, Hayden!” Leslie cries. “Don’t let Rey’s insecurities tell you otherwise. She has her own demons to fight.”

  “I swore I’d never let anyone become number one over me again. I gave Rey so much power over my moods and my heart. Now I’m doing the same damn thing with Vi!” I shove my hands forcibly through my hair. All of this is too much too soon. How did I let Vi get so close so fast?

  “Stop. Right now. Stop everything.” Leslie sticks out her hands like she’s trying to calm a wild beast. “You’re letting Rey get in your head. You don’t need her there. She’s a trigger for you. Don’t let her make you crumble. Don’t give her that power.”

  I nod, seriously absorbing everything Leslie is saying, but feeling a pit of despair in the bottom of my stomach like I could be screwing everything up for myself again.

  “Hayden. You deserve to be happy,” Leslie adds. “It’s been a year.”

  “Right!” I whisper scream, my voice bordering on a manly shriek. “It’s been a year. You’ve seen me through it. I’m a completely different person than I was fresh out of rehab. Aren’t I?” I grip my leather cuffs and ache for the pressure thundering through every part of my body to dampen. I want this to be true. I need it to be.

  “You are different, Hayden. Calm down,” she says soothingly.

  “Fuck. I just wanted a normal night out.” I crouch over a chair and drop my head down to my chest. “I’m so tired of feeling broken.”

  “You’re not broken. You’re changing. Change is hard. But from the looks of it, you’re making all the right changes! That’s what matters.”

  I nod silently to myself. I am doing this properly. I can’t let Rey rattle my confidence. Vi and I are taking things slow. We’re not rushing into anything. We’re not saying “I love you.” We’re just together. Meeting friends. That sort of thing. Nothing major…

  …even though there’s a heaviness in my heart that’s screaming at me to stop ignoring it.

  A sensation that I’ve never felt before…even with Rey.

  The car ride back to Theo and Leslie’s is quiet and charged with tension and unspoken words. Vi has hardly looked at me or touched me since Rey’s hasty departure. I know she’s probably angry about how I treated her all evening, but surely she can see why I acted as I did. She’s got to understand that all of this is still difficult for me.

  She offers polite goodbyes and I begin walking her back to her flat.

  “You don’t have to walk me home, Hayden,” she croaks under the dark streetlight.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” I snap with exasperation as we walk at a quic
kening pace down the sidewalk.

  “I’m not being ridiculous. I’m perfectly capable of walking my own arse back to my own flat. I don’t need you.”

  My hand shoots out and wraps around her elbow, bringing her to a halt so swiftly that she stumbles into my chest. “What are you doing?”

  She refuses to look up at me even though we’re pressed tightly together. “I’m just reading the writing on the wall.”

  “Stop,” I demand and force her chin up so she looks at me. The hurt and confusion and pain swimming in her glossy eyes crushes me. My anger melts to heartache. “Vi, stop,” I beg.

  She shakes her head. “No. You hurt me tonight. I was on cloud nine with you until Rey showed up. You wouldn’t even hold my hand! Are you still in love with her?”

  “No, don’t be daft,” I scoff, looking away to hide my irritation, but refusing to let Vi go.

  “Well, who am I to be jealous of then? Am I jealous of Rey or am I jealous of Leslie? I can’t keep up! I’m sure Julie would be in line for a quick shag if the mood struck you!”

  I swirl her around and press her up against the nearest flat surface, both hands braced on the stone wall on either side of her head, caging her in so she remains in front of me. “This is complete shit and you know it, Vi. You know me. You know me better than anyone!”

  “I thought I did. But that was before you chose to run off and confide in Leslie instead of me! That shit hurt, Hayden. How on earth do you think that makes me feel? Are you in love with your brother’s fiancé?” she snaps meanly.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” I growl, clenching my fists in anger.

  “Then why can’t you talk to me?” her voice rises to a pitch that jolts me.

  “I can’t tell you these things,” I grind out through clenched teeth, slamming my eyes shut in utter fear.

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t want to scare you away!” I bark and look at her finally. Her jaw actually closes and her defiance morphs into a simpler, moody scowl. “Everything is different with you, Vi. The stakes are higher.”